I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
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