porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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