Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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