She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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