Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He is an equal opportunity slut.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize