So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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