look no pants
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
