So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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