You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
This is not my ceiling
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
