i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
