You're so nebulous sometimes
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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