i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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