My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
