At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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