Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
