like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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