im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
