My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
