What a fucking waste of an outfit
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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