the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
