Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
