sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
