haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
