Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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