i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
