brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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