What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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