he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
