3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I enjoy the company of your penis
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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