Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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