Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
