my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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