it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
