i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
