i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize