can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She bit a glass in half.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
