It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
