I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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