Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
