..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
