YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
