Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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