Rock
Scissors
Fuck
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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