capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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