Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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