oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
