So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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