If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
