Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
