and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
