His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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