I'm drive I can fine osifer
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
