This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
