So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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