My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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