i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
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