i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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