Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He passed out mid-signature
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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