dude i'm inner monologue high
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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