i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
