I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
