I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
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