You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
