Yo dont text me then not text me
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
