Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
