And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
