Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
