guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize