I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
