Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
