I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Enjoy the penises
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
