i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
